Peter made a sound that was almost a laugh and almost grief. “That sounds like me.”
Adam understood then that Peter had not only been asking who was responsible for Michael’s death. He had been asking whether his last imperfect conversation had become permanent.
“Mike knew you loved him,” Adam said.
Peter looked sharply at him.
“Don’t make it pretty for me.”
“I’m not. He complained about you. He also showed us a picture of the garage twice and said you were going to pretend not to need help when he got back. He knew.”
Peter stared at the tabletop until his breathing steadied.
When they finally stood to leave, the spare chair remained beside the table.
Peter picked up the photograph. He did not turn it face down.
Outside, rain had begun, light enough to shine on the pavement without forcing anyone to run. Adam stood beneath the restaurant awning, suddenly aware that he had brought no umbrella.
Mrs. Callahan touched his sleeve.
“Michael wrote one more thing,” she said.
Peter looked at her. “You didn’t read all of it.”
“Not there.”
She handed the letter to Adam.
He resisted. “That’s yours.”
“Read the last paragraph.”
His hands shook as he took it.
Michael’s handwriting slanted upward near the bottom of the page. The paragraph began with a complaint about socks. Then it changed direction without warning, the way Michael often spoke.
If Adam ever came to visit after they were home, Michael wrote, his parents were not to let him apologize for the duty switch forever. Adam had a bad habit of turning gratitude into debt. Michael said Peter should put him to work in the garage if he needed something useful to do.
Adam read the lines twice.
“He wrote that before the attack?”
“The letter was mailed before,” Mrs. Callahan said.
Peter stood a few feet away, rain darkening the shoulders of his coat.
For the first time since dinner began, Adam could not speak.
Peter held out his hand for the letter. Adam returned it.
“He really said the garage?”
Mrs. Callahan nodded.
Peter looked at Adam. “He hated that garage.”
“He hated how you organized it.”
