“Sometimes I did.”
“I know. That made it easier.”
Outside, a car moved slowly through the slush.
Margaret folded her hands.
“When your father was alive, he noticed when I hadn’t sat down. Afterward, nobody seemed to notice whether I ate.”
Kevin covered his mouth.
“I noticed you weren’t sitting,” he said. “I just didn’t think about why.”
That admission hurt, but it was something she could finally put her hands around. No excuse. No misunderstanding.
“I need you to come when there isn’t a meal,” she said.
“I will.”
“And if I tell you something hurts, I need you to stop asking whether it was intended.”
He nodded.
“I can do that.”
“You’ll have to do it more than once.”
“I know.”
He stayed for an hour. They talked about his work and the book on her side table. Before leaving, he asked whether she would like to visit the botanical gardens the following weekend.
“Will Tiffany come?”
“Only if you want her there.”
“Not this time.”
“All right.”
The ease of those two words nearly made Margaret cry again.
Tiffany’s apology arrived in January, after two attempts Margaret declined.
The first was a text saying she regretted how everything had turned out.
The second said she was sorry Margaret had felt unappreciated.
Margaret answered only the second.
I need you to understand what you did, not describe how I felt.
When Tiffany finally came to the house, she stood on the step until Margaret invited her inside.
Her heels were black this time. Margaret noticed and then wished she hadn’t; shoes had never been the problem.
Tiffany sat at the kitchen table with her handbag in her lap.
“I told everyone you wanted to host after you told me no.”
“Yes.”
“I thought you’d give in.”
Margaret waited.
“And I kept you out of the photographs because I wanted people to think I’d done everything.”
The confession left Tiffany looking smaller, but Margaret took no pleasure in it.
“You made me feel absent in my own house.”
“I know.”
“You know I’ve said it. Understanding it may take longer.”
Tiffany nodded, eyes wet.
“Kevin and I are seeing a counselor.”
